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December 12, 2012

New Blog


It is Over

June 18, 2012

Dear Baby Girl,

Our story together has come to a close, but for you, a new story is just beginning. I love you so much, even though I have never held you in my arms. For 15 1/2 months I have thought of you daily, prayed for you constantly, and prepared for your homecoming. Now however, through the choices and actions of someone else, the chance for us to become mother and daughter has been ripped away. I am grieving. Child of my heart, you have been torn away from me. You will be matched with another family who is ready and willing to welcome home a precious toddler girl. I will continue to pray for you and your future family always. Someday, I may get a chance to meet you, but for now, I will have to be content knowing that specific people within my agency will do everything in their power to advocate for you, match you quickly and bring you home as soon as possible. I was just a rest stop on your journey to finding your forever family. Perhaps one day I may have a daughter of my own and Jonathan will have the opportunity to be a big brother. But that is not for you to worry about. Baby Girl… “my” Sara… May you continue to grow and thrive, and become the beautiful person you are truly meant to be. With all my love….

The Skinny Human Garbage Disposal

June 5, 2012

This morning, Jonathan’s breakfast consisted of a LARGE bowl of cereal, with milk of course, a granola bar, two mini-boxes of raisins, applesauce, string cheese, a rice krispie treat and a glass of juice. Yet, when he was wearing his swim shorts while on vacation last week, you could count his ribs. Where does it all go? It just baffles me.

Yes, that is completely random, but I’m practicing posting random tidbits of information about my child(ren) to get in the habit of blogging frequently again for when Sara comes home. My goal is to be all caught up with the blog before our travel call comes.  So, watch for many upcoming posts about Jonathan.

Anticipation is Building

May 17, 2012

We are now two weeks into the EP approval process in Korea. Friends keep asking me if I’m getting excited yet, and the answer is still, “Yes… but…”

I know the EPs will not be approved for another few weeks. That is based on a few different sources; our agency, MPAK blog, a recent Australian update from ESWS. If they are approved before the first part of June, I will be pleasantly surprised, and then panicked.

I have a lot going on in the next few weeks. Sunday is Sara’s Sprinkle Shower Celebration. (I’m not sure what the girls who are throwing it for me are calling it.) We’ve been waiting for Sara since being placed on our agency’s “Waiting for a Girl” list with our initial application at the end of August, 2009. I’ve been “collecting” things for pretty much all 3 of those years. Think of all those Fashion Friday posts. Sara is not wanting in the clothes or toys or anything departments. Plus, Sara is our second child, so we have big ticket items saved from Jonathan. Since we are not in need of traditional shower gifts, I asked that the invitations include requests for donations for Eastern, that I will pack and bring with us, as well as gift cards for practical things once she is home.

Next week is Jonathan’s last few days of preschool for the year. That is a big deal in and of itself. I’ll have to remember to take pictures on his last day.

Then right after that, Jonathan and I are headed to the Florida beach with Nana and Papa and the cousins for a week. Chris opted out of the trip. 🙂  But, I have to get all the details and packing done for that too. It will be hectic stressful time getting ready, but it is all a happy stress.

We get home on June 4th and that is when I will start to be anxious. At that point, EPs will soon be approved. Any time really around that first full week of June is what I’m thinking. But who knows for sure. Luckily there is still other distractions during June to keep me on my toes. Jonathan will be doing VBS at a local church for a week, and we are attending Korean Heritage Camp again.

While processing these upcoming events and changes at night through my dreams, I keep getting going to “Korea Camp” and going to Korea mixed up and interchanged. I’ve had two dreams about picking up Sara- but at Korea Camp. I can’t remember the exact details of both dreams right now, but I know we were at camp in the Colorado mountains and at the adoption agency in Seoul… at the same time. Of course.

I’m hoping to start playing catch up again on here, with Jonathan’s activities from this Spring. Somehow, I’m always “catching up” on my blog, instead of recording events real time. Oh, well. Future goal.

Jonathan last month- April ’12

Collecting my Thoughts & Where we are at In Process

May 9, 2012

Forgive me if this post is jumbled and jumpy. I haven’t posted anything substantial in a LONG time, though I’ve been contemplating things, and thinking about what I need to say in order to catch my blog up to date.  So, I have thoughts about a few different things that I want to record. Plus, I’m hyped up on too much caffeine right now. I really need to stop drinking two cups of my STRONG English Breakfast Tea. But, I’ll edit this many times before hitting publish, so it should be readable.

Last Fall, when the EP process was at a stand still, I came up with March 31st as the day I was going to count down to, and look forward to. See my thoughts from then, HERE. Not that we would travel by then, but that we would know SOMETHING. Rumors about Korean adoption EP’s were flying around the web from various sources from January on. All of the waiting families kept thinking “this is it”, and then being disappointed.  HERE is my Venting post.

Well, it wasn’t until March that the process even started again. The first group of kiddos was submitted at the beginning of March and approved 3 weeks later. So my March 31st date was helpful in the fall and mid-winter, but by then I was pretty on top of the process. Right around then, I started to get connected with a few different groups of waiting mamas on FB. Being connected to a group of people experiencing the exact same anxieties and emotions at the same time is very helpful. We can cheer each other on for all of the good news, and know that with each set of kids advancing through the next steps, it moves our own kiddo that much closer to the end of the process.

So, the first group of waiting children from our Korean agency, ESWS, were submitted for EP approval on March 5th, and approved March 23rd. Second group was submitted March 29th, approved May 2nd. In the middle of waiting for the second group’s approval, our case manager at our US agency contacted me to schedule our Pre-Travel Meeting. RJ said that they were “assuming” that Sara would be included in the third batch of submissions whenever that might happen. I had been hoping, but wasn’t sure. Our agency very rarely tells us news unless it is certain, but RJ knows that I know the process and understand that nothing is guaranteed until it happens. So, after RJ’s assumption, I had slightly more hope to be included in Batch 3, but still wasn’t completely sure.

Our BIG NEWS…. Sara’s EP was submitted to the Korean government on May 3rd, as part of that 3rd batch. Based on the first two batches of this year, our agency is predicting approval in 4 weeks or so, and then travel call 6-8 weeks from submission. We may be in Korea picking up our daughter at the end of June!

As always, there is the caveat that no one really knows what dates things will happen.  Last summer (2011)  was when one EP batch took three very long months to approve. In other words, we could get news of approval at the end of this month… or not.

Also, I’m disappointed for some of the ladies from around the country who I had previously connected with. I had this whole big group slung together in my mind, thinking we were all going to be traveling buddies.  Apparently, this third batch for Eastern was very small. Only children whose future families accepted up through the end of February (2011)/ very beginning of March were submitted, when it had been hoped that ESWS would get through at least mid-March, if not the end of March. In other words, Sara was one of the last children included in this batch; she barely squeezed in. We very well COULD have been waiting for the next batch of EP submissions. But, she made it, for whatever unknown reason.

So at this point, we have advanced one step, but are still waiting on the Korean government. Once the Ministry grants the EP approval, then we go back to waiting on the US government, specifically the US consulate in Seoul. Even though we’ve moved on up in line, I’m still not planning on anything. I know I need to start really looking into hotels/ airplane tickets/ coordinating things, but I still feel in limbo at this point. I’m taking notes of suggestions from others who have recently traveled, and am starting to pile up my donations for Eastern, but that’s about it right now. I’m excited…. I truly am, (I did scream and jump around when we got the e-mail saying she had been submitted for EP), but you certainly can’t tell it from my day to day actions. I think I’ll be more excited in June. 🙂 More excited and more nervous too. I’m going to have TWO kids to keep track of…. Ack!

Project Completed: S A R A letters

April 20, 2012

Yeah, it sat around for a long while… a couple of times…. but I finally finished Sara’s name letters and hung them on the wall in her room this week. First thing up on the walls, other than paint, since we’re still not sure if we are moving. Would rather not put holes in the wall for picture frames if we don’t have to.

Fashion Friday: Late Additions to my Stash

April 20, 2012

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